This is the first in a monthly series of posts highlighting the humorous, ridiculous and absurd in the world of search engine listings. In an age of automated keyword research and campaign management, with rich internet technologies evolving faster than the people who use them, some weird, funny stuff is bound to happen. And of course, I, spending my days trolling search engine results pages, tend to stumble upon some very “special” listings. Actually, a big part of my job is making sure paid search ads are clear and relevant, and organic “snippets” are accurate, informative and appealing to users. This month’s Top 5 Worst of Search column features listings for sites that, well, apparently don’t have anybody doing my job.
Based on a vote taken among my esteemed panel of expert colleagues, top five Worst of Search winners for May are:
#5 — Ad agency Hill Holliday with “…Boston. I can’t get enough of their fleece jackets.”
Keyword: Hill Holliday Boston
Engine: Google
Reason for Problem: They forgot to put meta description tags on their home page, so the snippet contains a random chunk of text taken from somewhere on the page, instead of a description of their business.
#4 – E-retailer ShoppingPage.us with “Looking for Dangerous Drugs? Save!”
Keyword: Dangerous Drugs
Engine: Google
Reason for Problem: Their automated keyword research tool went looking for keyphrases with high search volumes, without a human being checking to see what the phrases actually mean.
#3 – Anti-smoking campaign The Truth with “The page you are looking for might have been removed…”
Keyword: thetruth.com
Engine: Google
Note: This site has well-funded TV campaign that directs users to the website. At the time of this screen shot, the site was not down — only the search engine listing was “down.”
Reason for Problem: They modified their site architecture without putting up redirects, and their site got crawled during the transitional period. The problem won’t be corrected until the next time the site is crawled.
#2 — E-retailers Smarter.com, BizRate.com, and Shopzilla.com with “Find and Compare Prices on blood in dog stool”, “Find Bargain Prices On blood in dog stool” and “Save On bright red blood in stool!”, respectively.
Keyword: Blood in Stool
Engine: Google
Reason for Problem: Their automated keyword research tool went looking for keyphrases with high search volumes, without a human being checking to see what the phrases actually mean. “Blood in stool” is a serious medical condition, not a type of furniture. “Blood in dog stool” is a veterinary condition, not a dog-related retail item.
And finally…Drumroll, please…the worst search engine listing of the month was…
#1 — Antihistamine eye drop Pataday with “Contact me when this site is live.”
Keyword: Pataday
Engine: Google
Reason for Problem: As with the Hill Holliday listing above, the page is missing a meta description tag, and apparently contains no readable text of any kind that pertains to the brand.
See you next month with more idiocy.
Have a favorite listing of your own? Send us a link to it or instructions on where to find it, and we’ll consider it for next month’s Top 5 Worst of Search list.
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